! was really touched by this novel. Several things in this story reminded me of feelings and thoughts that my younger self felt through difficult times with past relationships. I also had these feelings during my 9 months in purgatory. My purgatory was filled with so many changes that I was not prepared to deal with. These changes were things like living in a small hotel while my home was remodeled and my dad being ill and being placed in a nursing home where he peacefully passed away in his sleep.
Before I continue, I want to make it clear to everyone that reads this blog that I am no longer in this frame of mind and have not had any recent thoughts of suicide. At my lowest point, I had thoughts about whether or not it would make a difference to anyone who directly or indirectly knew me. I felt like I was alone. I had loss my mom, dad, and a few friends. My remaining family and a few people that I trusted treated my like a kid or a cash machine so I truly felt that I had hit rock bottom and could see no way out.
The book is about Hannah Baker, a 17 year old girl who commits suicide because she can’t cope with the disappointment and cruelty from people in her life. She made a series of tapes that were delivered to the people that held some responsibility for her life ending and they are forced to hear and deal with how they contributed to her life ending. Seeing the different effects it had on people in her life, I found myself contemplating again whether or not my absence from this world would make things better for some and whether others would have tried to reach out to stop me before I made the attempt.
Story nine is about Clay and how he shouldn’t be on her list. This story made a big impact on me. Clay made the list because Hannah wanted to apologize to him and let him know that she wished she took the time to reach out and let him know how she was feeling so that he could help her. There is a possibility that if she would have reached out to Clay she would not have committed suicide. She could have learned to slowly start trusting again and developed ways to shake off the people that were jerks and bitches to her. In this version of reality, she could have had a fresh start to her life and she and Clay could have been happy. Reaching out to the right person for help is crucial. She made a mistake by not reaching out to Clay but at the end of the story she tried to reach out but that person did not give the right advise and could not see that she begging for help. As a result, Hannah went on with her plan to commit suicide.
I keep hearing suicide is painless but that is not true. The person choosing to end their life may be without pain but everyone that loved and cared for them in forever filled with pain. The story ends with Hannah thanking everyone for listening to her story. In this moment, I could really feel what Hannah was feeling and it took me a few moments to get myself back together. In my opinion, Hannah got her revenge by making these tapes but in a perfect world, she wouldn’t have had to make the tapes at all.
After reading this review and/or book, I want people to realize that suicide is not the way out. I recommend this book or the series to everyone. To my family, friends and people that know me…I AM OK.
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